| julia's profile菊の部屋PhotosBlogLists |  Tools  Help |
|
6/19/2008 一个人在与LD的一通电话之后，预定了第二天飞往上海的机票 第二次，我一个人的飞行 拖着带给LD的新年礼物 一个人走在去机场的路上 一个人给东西打包 一个人换登机牌 一个人过安检 一个人静静的坐在候机室 一个人登机 一个人听音乐 在寂寞的同时，期待着接下来的温暖 一个人，可以静静的想很多的事情 带着看客的心理，去观察，去揣摩，去体会身边的事物 偶尔的远行不过提供给我这样的机会 让我在奔波中，体验到不同的社会，不同的人生 让我在高空中，思考一些在地面上无法企及的高度 或许，莱特兄弟发明飞机并不是为了工业社会的进步 而是，看的更高，更远，更加真实的感受自己 回程的途中，我很快便睡着了 旁边的空位让我感到无比的舒服 不用刻意和旁人保持距离 不用让自己保持不愉快的姿势 在半梦半醒之间 突然感觉自己不再是一个人 突然感觉原来我的心底还是有暖流的 在遥远的地方，还有另外一个人念着你，挂着你 原来，我已经不是一个人了 上海映像上海，象一个真实的梦，那么的遥远，那么的触不可及 却在现代传媒的功绩中，她的美，她的好，让世界都看到 曾经是多么的期待去到这样一个城市中 去工作，去生活，去实现自己的梦想 如今看来，不过是如此的苍白 她是如此的美丽，但在美丽的背后 却是工业文明，物质文明带来的弊病 拥堵的交通，发达的物欲，林立的高楼，冷淡的人情 无时无刻在提醒着自身的渺小，揭示着虚伪的本性 脚不沾地的在上海蠕动了半天 如此巨大的城市，如此多的高架，如此发达的公交系统和地铁系统 却仍然无法缓解路面的交通状况 这就是社会进步所不得不付出的代价 或许，只有《第五元素》中小型的飞行器才能让出行不再是一个噩梦了吧 如美丽气泡的梦，在膨胀的时候会无比绚烂，无比美丽 破碎之后，只会留下淡淡的印记，而后被人遗忘，连腐败的机会都没有 我可以不喜欢这个城市，不是因为城市本身 而是她的本质 她的出现，不是为了更好的生活 而是更好的炫耀 或许，这才是城市诞生的真正目的和终极目标 但在说出以上这番话之后 却感到无比的悲惨与凄凉 现实如此的直接与残酷 6/14/2008 回归好久没有回到自己的MSN SPACE来看看了，不是不想，是没有时间
工作，生活，人际关系，让人抓狂
看看以前的东西，感觉真好
我又回来了
to jo:
最近发生了很多的事情
四川地震了，我们变成了灾民
在以为地震离我们而去的时候
才不得不承认，我们不仅仅是灾民，我们更是受害者
最好的朋友不得不远走他乡
虽然还在等待最后的决定
但那么多年的同舟共进，哭哭笑笑，吵吵闹闹，竟然就快变成昨日黄花
我的猪，我的三，我的幺儿
我舍不得你，感觉就像谁把我最爱的东西抢走了一样
虽然说换个环境可能对事业更好
但我心底更多的却是不舍
怎么办，没有你，我怎么办
六年来，真正离开你时间屈指能数
我怎么适应，我怎么生活
没有人陪我说话，没有人陪我交心
我想都不敢想
to someone:
我不是高调的人，我不喜欢生活在别人的目光中
我更不喜欢抢别人的风头，作为炫耀自己的资本
我只想回归本来的自我
安安静静做好自己该做的事，得到自己该得的东西
走自己认为适合自己的道路
to LD:
虽然我们相隔两地，但是我想你
不知道我们我们能走多久，但是希望大家都不会后悔
不知道我们的默契还能存在多久，但我知道我的心中始终都有你
菊花
2008.6.14
7/5/2006 hightoday is a big day, too. i fianlly got my graduation diploma n finished all da procedures dat i need ta. it is quite a happy day, though a tough day.
i got up early dis morning, around 6 am, got myself dressed up n then rushed back ta school. da weather in chengdu is quite abnormal these days, da average temparature in da downtown is 6-8 degrees higher than dat of rural areas. i can't stand it, for i am such a stout girl. ah! ah! kept myself busy da whole day for dealing with da needy procedures, i was gonna crazy.
finally, i got wat i want, but i hav ta wait da car ta pick us up for i got a plenty of things ta delivery.
we (yinke, xiayuanyuan and me) shot a lot of wonderful picts, but i'm so tired now, i'm gonna upload it ta my photo albume tomorrow. wowwow!
everybody, nice dream!
ps. jo got ill today, she won't go ta work tomorrow, wat a pity. but my sweet heart, stay at home n take good care of uself, okay. don't let me worry about u. 7/3/2006 7,4th, a big day明日は私の大切なGACKT様の誕生日だ。今日は、本当に嬉しいになりますよう！
今年まで、三年の時間がかかりますけれと、GACKT様の事はいつも忘れないから。
Gackt様、今から、私達は一緒にかんぱりますよう！
July 4th is a big day to most americans, but for me, it is also a big day, for it's da birthday of my dearest Gackt Sama.
i have fall in luv with him for more than 3 years, u dont know how exactly describe such feelings. i am just so happy dat in my life, i could come across with such a man, such a beautiful man.
i know, some people do not like his style, they think he looks too famine, but to me, it's quite another story. u could not judge people, u should get closer to him or her, then u could get da chance appricate himm dat's da kinda of process how i got through.
so, tomrrow is quite a big day for me, i only wish dat Gackt Sama could live a happy life with YOU, i really would like to see these 2 guys together, i know dat they r not gay, they just share one room together, but i still would like to fram da kinda love affair between these 2 guys, it's a kinda enjoyment!
happy birthday, Gackt Sama, i will always by ur side, da same way as i always do.
7/2/2006 Miss Independenti read through my dariy n finally made a decision.
i won't live for anyone but myself, no one would love me da way myself does. i won't apply for dis year's postgraduate exam for i'm quite satisfied with my current job, it provide me a good chance to see different things.
da kinda free life is wat i'm always looking for, u know wat, u r not da core of life anymore, people should learn ta move on, i never expected ta be ur sweet heart, i hav a clear idea who am i, where should i go. probably, at da very beginning, i don't know which way ta go, never judge person, i will never let myself down.
so, thax for u gossip, for i hav no idea how could everybody know dat. i'm miss independent, i don't need ur sympathy, u son of bitch. new job, new lifei hav already worked for a week, it's quite different from wat i expected before, but it is even more excited.
actually, i am da only girl in our department, my immediate supervisor and two colleagues are males, of course, they are very gentle n treat me well. thax, i learned a lot from them only in a week. da kinda feeling are so great, i like it.
in da middle of july, our office is gonna move ta da new hotel, in da southern part of chengdu, dat's sounds great, isn't it! n i am gonna hav my own office desk n computer, da recent office is a temporary one, i don't hav my own desk n computer, it is really inconvenient, but things gonna change in two weeks.
i'm a easy contented people, rite?
hope eveything could going well. though it's really a busy period. 5/2/2006 一直在路上 最近感觉灰蒙蒙的,所有不幸的事情都发生在自己身上了.前段时间让我发疯的事情还没有落幕,心里空荡荡的我昨天拿了100元钱出去买书,到了今天早上买早饭时才发现那100元已经不知所踪,莫名其妙的不知碰到什么把手割伤了,减肥减到头疼,太阳穴像要爆炸了一样...反正倒霉的事情接连发生,弄的我手忙脚乱,不知所措,也无法适从.
早上和小三打了近半个小时的电话,把自己的烦恼一股脑地倒给了她.她静静地听着,不时的劝我几句.最后她发了条短信过来,这样说到: "如果你真的喜欢读书,可以把考研的过程当作去你想去的地方的车程吧!可能很疲倦,会晕车和堵车,但要尽量享受路过的风景.这样最后你就算不能达到目的也一样能看到,听到很多.我现在做的也不是我想要的,我也一直在路上.我觉得成熟就是拥有很丰富的人生阅历,但还要保持单纯和善良的心,这是很难的.不是无知的单纯和市侩的城府.我们都还在成长,离成熟还很远." 看完三儿的短信,我顿时呆住了.上面那样简单易懂的道理我竟然参不透,但更让我惊异的是这样的话竟出自三儿的口中.这是我万万不曾想到的.自己对小三的印象还停留在一两年以前,那时的她还是一个愤世嫉俗,对一切都充满敌意的倔强而执拗的女孩,而那时的我是平和的,陪着她一起发疯,带着看客的心理看着一切,不理解那些烦心的事,一味地沉醉在自己的天地中.曾何几时,这样的格局被打破了,小三走出校园,成为了我们三人帮中最成熟的一个.是生活,工作让小三理解到成熟的定义了吧!与她相比,我是不如她的. 只有苦笑. 出生在一个幸福和睦的中等家庭,父母都是知书达理的人,在他们的淳淳教导下,我学习如何循规蹈矩的做人.虽然人生的道路也不是平平坦坦,但也相安无事的到了今天.不用担心温饱,不用担心家庭,一切都那么宁静,祥和,没有大风大浪.然而,上一代给我的安逸生活却让我看到的不是积极的一面,而是消沉,怨天尤人.整天只会抱怨这个,抱怨那个,从来不把自己的因素考虑进去.不是烦恼找上了我,而是我找上了烦恼;不是不幸找上了我,而是我找上了不幸...就这样不觉地反反复复.然后天真的以为一切都会好起来. 原来,天真的不是别人,正是我自己.一直蜷缩在校园这个巨大的壳中,用从来没有停止的考试麻痹自己,把考试作为不做任何事的借口--有考试,所以不能减肥;有考试,所以不能陪朋友一起出去;有考试,所以不能出去找工作...这难道就是我吗?内心自私的我找到了一个华丽的外衣来掩盖自己内心的怯弱,以为这样就可以挡住所有的利剑.直到今天.终于发现自己内心的伤口越来越大,痛楚越来越深.我难道还要像以前那样,小心翼翼地用触角去轻轻碰触这个世界,或是挣脱沉重的枷锁毫不迟疑勇敢地走出去呢? 今天,我带着感恩的心情写下这篇日记.带着感恩的心感谢生我養我的父母,你们辛苦了,把我这样顽劣的小孩带大,虽然我还象一只硕鼠一样,但一切都会结束的,自给自足的日子就快开始了,你们的包袱马上就可以松开了;带着感恩的心感谢我的朋友们,小三,在我人生最彷徨的时候,你的话让我醍醐灌顶,明白了自己,看清了自己.阿科,在我不开心发飙的日子里,你和小三一起开导我,陪着我.虽然有时你们都不在我身边,但我知道你们一直在支持着我,从未停止过给我力量.斯和对门的余美女,你们间接或直接的参与了我人生中的若干个第一次,有你们的帮助,我把很多事情干好了. 在成都四年,除了学习以外,最让我感到骄傲的就是你们这些朋友了.不管我有多么的任性,专制和霸道,你们都没有抛弃我,陪我走到了今天.谢谢你们,我真的很高兴.以前一直以为老天不公平地什么都没有给我,今天才知道,他把最珍贵的友谊轻轻放在了我身边. 有了你们,这些爱我和我爱的人,我会学着迈开双脚勇敢的走下去,不用担心自己是否会偏离,是否会走弯路.因为我知道,万能的上帝没有抛弃我,他把你们赐给了我. GOD BLESS US. Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down I'd just stare out my window Dreaming of what could be And if I'd end up happy I would pray Trying hard to reach out But, when I tried to speak out Felt like no one could hear me Wanted to belong here But something felt so wrong here So I'd pray I could break away I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change And break away Out of the darkness and into the sun But, I won't forget all the ones that I love I'll take a risk, take a chance, make a change And break away Wanna feel the warm breeze Sleep under a palm tree Feel the rush of the ocean Get onboard a fast train Travel on a jetplane, far away And break away I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change And break away Out of the darkness and into the sun I won't forget all the ones that I love I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change And break away Buildings with a hundred floors Swinging round revolving doors Maybe I don't know where they'll take me But, gotta keep moving on, moving on Fly away, break away I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye, gotta Take a risk, take a chance, make a change And break away Out of the darkness and into the sun But, I won't forget the place I come from I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change And break away 菊
2006.5.2. 4/30/2006 我的爬地菊原来,至始至终,受感动的人只有我自己而已.你,只是一个双手插在裤兜里的看客,嘴边嚼着冷笑,看我愚蠢地忙碌着. 我就像一只被遗弃的小狗,在路边向你摇尾乞怜.你却用你游离的目光看着我,不曾拒绝我,也不曾靠近我,保持着冷漠的距离. Never reach out me a hand. 看着你的无动于衷,我霎那间明白了,就算是生命力如此顽强,坚韧的爬地菊也有无法绽放的时候.它注定一生只能守在野外,看着旁边的姹紫嫣红,孤独而冷傲的将自己最美好的一切献给广阔的天地.它注定一生无依无靠,却能孕育出最坚强的灵魂. 我心中的爬地菊从来没有枯萎过,它们永远那么兴荣,永不凋谢! 菊 2006.4.30. 4/27/2006 成都,你,我 到成都已经4年了.虽然我的户籍上籍贯这一栏清晰地填着成都两个字,然而最初,我始终无法认同这个城市.在来这里之前,身边的人无不唾弃成都人的虚伪,自命清高.用四川话说就是一个字"假".耳濡目染,潜意识中我对成都充满了敌意,特别是在前半生习惯了重庆人的直爽和泼辣的情况下.
小时候来过成都,但印象已经相当的模糊了,仅仅停留在成都动物园里大象巨大的身形和未坐成云霄飞车的遗憾中.4年前来到成都,这里对于我来说是一个陌生的地方,不知道自己即将面对怎样的事物,接待怎样的人,怎样发展下去.当时自己的目标就是完成大学学业以后,离开这个城市,到外地去,譬如深圳,上海这样的大城市去实现自己的梦想.现在回想起来,那时的自己是多么天真,单纯,心无杂念努力地朝理想奔去,真让人羡慕呀!让我不得不感叹所谓的物是人非. 4年对于一个人来说,可长可短,唯一不能否认的就是这段时间足够让我改变对这个城市的看法.从最初的鄙意,到慢慢的习惯,到认同,然后喜欢,最后无法抽身离去.4年,这个城市大部分的角落都留下过我和朋友的足迹,从最初的小马驹变成了如今的识途老马,从最初的青涩到今日的成熟.或许岁月的流逝带给我的还不仅仅是这些吧! 现在的想法和自己的初衷已经南辕北辙,不可能再有交集了.原本是想整理好自己的一切,潇洒地不带任何痕迹地走出去.但自己喜欢的人却拼了命地从外面回到这个城市来.女人最可悲的就在于这一点,用尽全力不惜改变自己去迎合自己所爱的人.从前我是如此鄙视这样的女人,时过境迁,我也不可免俗的成为其中一员.成都这个城市真的对你有那么大的吸引力吗?的确,这里空气好,水好,气候好,交通好,美食多,美女也多...那么多的好处,再加上你的存在,我怎么还可能挥挥衣袖,不带走一片云彩故作洒脱的离开呢? 今天天气奇好,万里无云,艳阳高照,和风抚摸着学校广阔的青草地,带上来沁人的清香.路上的美女们迫不及待地换上了短裙,热裤,露出均匀修长,白皙的玉腿.男生们则尽情的享受着温和可人的成都带给他们的一切便利.这也是你要回来的原因吗? 4年了,这里留下了我太多的记忆,欢笑,泪水.还有我最为珍视的友谊.三儿,小科,斯,小夏,对面的余美女,隔壁405的四只妖怪.我真的能全身而退,不留痕迹吗?似乎不可能吧!这个弹丸之地承载了我一生最美好的时光,铭刻了最诱人的回忆和风景.这个城市对于我犹如罂粟,明知会上瘾,却心甘情愿地沉溺于其中. 林林总总,看来我是无法离开这个让我又爱又恨的地方了.其实这全是为了你!对于将来的一切,我全无把握,为了你而留在这个城市的决定是否正确,这些问题我不想再考虑了.就让我忠于自己的内心,去直视自己的渴望好了.其他的,已无关紧要. 现在要做的就是继续努力,把去年没用上的力量今年一起用上,明年才能有正当的理由留在这里.考研的道路何其漫长,去年半年,今年一年,我青春宝贵的年华都进去了.但是我不后悔!我也庆幸自己没有考回重庆去,那样的话,我们连见面的机会也不曾有过,就这样失之交臂,不是吗? 对于成都,我不知道用怎样的心情面对. 对于你,我无心揣测,却一直在揣测. by.菊
2006.4.27
p.s.
这次作了如此重大的决定,为了某人,留在成都继续考研.还有大半年的时间,困难等着我.决不能象去年那样沉溺于游戏中了.报着破釜沉舟的心态去奋斗.因此要远离我的lap top,远离我的Gackt, Yamap, Junghoon很长一段时间了,宝贝们,我会经常想你们的.再也没有时间潜在各大论坛,看强人们拍砖了.为了自己的追求,学会适当的放弃也是不错的吧! 隔壁,对面的同志们,有事和我短信联系哟,帮我照看好一切.我会想你们的! 希望大家都幸福! 4/25/2006 A Letter For My Forever LoveTo Y,
Love is a fragile flower, it needs not only irrigation and cultivation, but also understanding. It's a pity that we don't have that much time to realize it. So, I persuade myself by saying that it's just my crush on you.
I don't expect you to open up and let me in, but promise me that you won't run away and withdraw from me, or I will blame and hate myself in the rest of my life for losing a friend like you.
You've to get to know that I didn't mean to destory the harmonious relationship between you and me. I only tried to be frank.
But I'm thankful, even with your refusal, for the blessing and the lessons that I've learned through the tears and the laughter, with you by my side, that I'm thankful. So thankful for the words and encouragement you keep telling me.
I'm really thankful.
Ju.
i've made my mind to take part in the postgraduate exam again. i'm firmly determind. i've to trust myself and do some sacrifice to my Y. your future is mine. you want to get a doctor degree, i could not lag behind. so, let's look into the future, and have a brighter future, it will do good to both of us.
god bless you and me. 4/24/2006 Who Makes You FeelI don't touch you the way I used to
Ans I don't call and write when I'm away We don't make love as often as we did do
But listen and think when I say it Oh but listen and think when I say it Who makes you feel the way that I make you feel Who loves you and knows you the way I do Who touches you and holds you quite like I do Who makes you feel like I make you feel I don't mind if you come home late I don't ever ask you where you've been I just assume there's a problem will you tell me But listen and think when I say it Oh but listen and think when I say it Who makes you feel the way that I make you feel
Who loves you and knows you the way I do Who touches you and holds you quite like I do Who makes you feel like I make you feel Who makes you feel like I make you feel Who makes you feel like I make you feel Being weak, when I am strong Being seen, who you are Being sad and love's not alone But listen and think when I say it Oh but listen and think when I say it Who makes you feel the way that I make you feel
Who loves you and knows you the way I do Who touches you and holds you quite like I do Who makes you feel like I make you feel
i'm falling luv with someone. how long havn't i had such a feeling. you're da 1 dat makes me feel...
"海明威曾经描写一个老人,每天到一家馆子喝咖啡,馆里的女侍固定端咖啡给老人,老人总是很有礼貌地向女侍说谢谢,一喝喝了18年,老人和女侍从未交谈,也无所谓对话.女侍从十五六岁的青春年华,转而成长为30岁的女人,准备嫁人了.最后一天女侍像往常一样,为老人端上一杯咖啡,可是老人听的出这咖啡放在桌上的声音不太一样.女侍说话了: 我想问你一个问题,可不可以请你把报纸拿开抬头看我一眼,这么多年来,我每天开店门,等待第一个客人,为你端上一杯咖啡,明天起我将离开这里,希望和你道别.但是想问你的是,为什么你从不看我一眼?也不和我打招呼..."
"老人流泪,看着女侍说,从18年前咖啡馆进门的那一刻,便深深恋慕女孩给他青春生命的纯真憧憬,老人说,他在女孩身上一点一滴发现着逝去的生命,天天到咖啡馆,并不是为了女侍美味的咖啡,只是寻回再也不能触摸的生命纯真.老人感叹生命逝去,只能看着她,一脸惘然..."
i only hope dat i won't be da old man. porbably, i should try ta grasp da gift dat God gives ta me, or i will in deeply regret with da rest of my life. I Have Gone MarkingI have gone marking the atlas of your body
with crosses of fire.
My mouth went across: a spider, trying to hide.
In you, behind you, timid, driven by thirst.
Stories to tell you on the shore of evening,
sand and gentle doll, so that you should not be sad.
A swan, a tree, something far away and happy.
The season of grapes, the ripe and fruitful season.
I who lived in a harbour from which I loved you.
The sloitude crossed with dream and with silence.
Penned up between the sea and sadness.
Soundless, delirious, between two motionless gondoliers.
Between the lips and the voice something goes dying.
Someting with the wings of a bird, something of anguish and oblivion.
The way nets cannot hold water.
My toy doll, only a few drops are left trembling.
Even so, something sings in these fugitive words.
Someting sings, something climbs to my ravenous mouth.
Oh to be able to celebrate you with all the words of joy.
Sing, burn, flee, like a belfry at the hands of a madman.
My sad tenderness, what comes over you all at once?
When I have reached the most awesome and the coldest summit
my heart closes like a nocturnal flower. Tonight I Can WriteTonight I can write the saddest lines.
Write, for example, 'The night is starry and the stars are blue and shiver in the distance.'
The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.
Tonight I can wirte the saddest lines.
I love her, and sometimes she loved me too.
Through nights like this on I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.
She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.
Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.
To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.
What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is starry and she is not with me.
This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.
My sight tries to find her as though to bring her close.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.
The same night whitening the same trees.
we, of that time, are no longer the same.
I no longer love her, that's certain, but how i loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.
Anothers. She will be another's. As she was before my kisses.
Her voice, her bright body. Her infinite eyes.
I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe i love her.
Love is so short, fogetting is so long.
Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.
Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer and these the last verses that I write for her. Here I Love YouHere I love you
In the dark pines the world disentangles itself.
The moon glows like phosphorus on the vagrant waters.
Days, all one kind, go chasing each other.
The snow unfurls in dancing figures.
A silver gull slips down from the west.
Sometimes a sail. High, high stars.
Oh the black cross of a ship.
Alone.
Sometines I get up early and even my soul is wet.
Far away the sea sounds and resounds.
This is a port.
Here I love you.
Here I love you and the horizon hides you in vain.
I love you still among these cold things.
Sometimes my kisses go on those heavy vessels that cross the sea towards no arrival.
I see myself forgotten like those old anchors.
The piers sadden when the afternoon moors there.
My life grows tired, hungry to no purpose.
I love what I do not have. You are so far.
My loathing wrestles with the slow twilights.
But night comes and starts to sing to me.
The moon turns its clockwork dream.
The biggest stars look at me with your eyes.
And as I love you, the pines in the wind want to sing your name with their leaves of wire.
4/18/2006 上帝复活的日子(补四月十六日的日记)我承认,自己不是一个真正的基督教徒,更不是一个虔诚的信徒
但是我相信上帝的存在
我相信人生来就是罪人
而上帝降临人世的目的就是为了洗刷我们的不洁,让我们能在死后带着洁净的灵魂去西方的极乐世界朝圣
只是作为人,我们太过于迟钝,把自己的罪恶当成放纵的借口
把黑暗带给我们恐惧紧紧握住
永远不肯放手
没有多少人知道今天是上帝复活的日子吧
被钉在十字架上的上帝在久远的以前的今天从坟墓里回到了人世间
他的死,是为了我们全人类
还记得The Passion of the Christ里面那让我失声痛哭的一句台词
"Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed."
"父啊，赦免他们，因为他们所作的，他们不晓得"
"你们听见有话说，当爱你的邻舍，恨你的仇敌。”“只是我告诉你们，要爱你们的仇敌。为那逼迫你们的祷告。”“你们若单爱那爱你们的人。有什么赏赐呢。”
天父的受难是为了我们,我们的受难是罪有应得吧!
我们是否一直都在犯错
只是我们尚未觉悟到而已
魔鬼带着阴险的笑容在我们的背后嘲弄着我们
我们却带着鄙视的眼神嘲弄着拯救我们的神
天父舍弃一切就是为了证明我们那不可扭转的本性吗?
其实,上帝一直都活在每一个人的心中
从来没有放弃对任何一个人的救赎
放弃的人
是我们自身
从一开始,我们就否定了那个拯救我们的人
转而投向了魔鬼的怀抱
这才是真相吧
能到教堂倾听来自天堂的声音的人究竟是什么样的人
他们感觉到了一直在身边那上帝强有力的心跳了吗?
我不知道
我只知道,在冥冥中,上帝一定会帮助我,在我身边助我一臂之力
我知道,你一直在我身边
不管我犯了多大的过失,我有多么放纵我自己
你都一直在为了我的救赎而努力着
god father, forgive us, 4 we dont know wat we r doing...
今天的布道的题目是"复活的大能"
经文包括: 林前6:14, 15:17-19, 彼前1:3-4, 罗6:4
颂诗: 1 赞我天父颂 4首
2 我信主耶稣歌 103首
3 主活在我心歌 281首
26,27,28号都有复活节的大型圣剧,有时间还是争取去看看吧!
heaven's door & perdition's fire
耶稣说"我就是道路,真理,生命,若不借着我没有人能到父那里去"
"按着定命,人人都有一死,死后且有审判"--(来9:27)
"若有人名字没记在生命册上,他就被扔在火湖里"--(启20:15) 四月十五日的日记今天很早就起床了,带着一种很激动的心情...
老早老早就没有办法再睡过去,因为想到即将到来的痛苦
和小三约好10点在太平洋百货楼下,没想到我竟然早到了
无奈之下,我不得不在西武的楼下无聊
看到西武两面大大的招牌,让我不得不感叹这个物欲横流的世界呀
louis vitton让大家敬请期待,dior coming soon...都是些好东西
可是没有他们,我们的日子还是照旧要过下去,对吧?
我和小三在10:30左右到了新女人街,虽然是星期六,但毕竟太早了
原本应该拥挤的通道里却难得的空荡荡的
或许这样更好吧
我们常常在这家银店买东西的缘故,没有和老板讨价还价
就直接让老板拿着工具上阵了
穿之前,老板让我选好了脐环的样式,因为是初次
所以能选的样式也很少,只能选一些比较简单的
选择完毕,我就开始了艰辛之律了
温柔的老板先在肚脐的周围擦上了一些消毒用的药水
然后在我措手不及之时用一个奇怪的夹子把要穿的那一部分肉肉夹出来
最后以掩耳不及之势把医用的钢阵穿了过去
另一个老板试图分散我的注意力,笑着问我是哪一个学校的
即使是这样,我还是在那一瞬间感到了疼痛
然后,我就开始晕眩了
眼前一片漆黑,出现了很多黑白相间的小麻点
身上不断的有冷汗冒出来
老板急忙又给我冲了两杯超级甜的葡萄糖水...
我就这样在桌子上趴了10分钟左右才恢复过来
正常之后,仔细看了看小小的可爱的脐环
蛮可爱的呀~~~
随后,我和小三去了某家发廊...我都不知道名字了...呵呵
在里面呆了2个小时,然后有了现在的发型
果然是明师,剪出来的效果就是不一样
回学校的时候,隔壁的某人都认不出我了
^_^!
下午的时候,陪小三去了教堂
因为明天是复活节,对于虔诚的基督教徒来说,这可是一个和圣诞节同等重要的节日
今天是去为明天的唱诗做准备的
一共要演唱好像6首诗...
这也是我生平第一次跨进教堂
与其说是被教堂那种庄严肃穆的气氛所镇住了,倒不如说是被那种宁静所感染了吧
在教堂里,所有的杂念都抛掷于脑后,萦绕于平凡的世人脑中的烦恼和不快都被屏弃在了上帝的荣光之外
在祥和宁静的教堂里,世俗的纷纷扰扰不过如过眼云烟...人们只是在自寻烦恼而已
或许我自己也是在自寻烦恼吧!
4/9/2006 Pちゃん、お誕生日おめでとうございます。 Pちゃん、お誕生日おめでとうございます。
终于盼到4月9日了,今天是儿子滴生日.为了庆贺儿子的生日,我特意多吃了一点好吃滴蛋糕来为乖儿子庆生.
儿子终于21岁了,踏入演艺圈也已经10年了,很庆幸他在那么长的时间内还保持着大男孩的本性...真是高兴呀!
图片是在寒荻风吟的blog里下载的,我很喜欢这一系列的作品,特此借用出现在今天的庆生图中...在此对寒大表示感谢...
再祝儿子生日快乐! 4/7/2006 小菊减肥日记 第十篇今天貌似很累了...什么也不想说,也不想写...
想爬床...
今日食谱:
早餐: 青菜瘦肉粥一杯,鸡蛋一个
午餐: 菠菜,白菜,番茄炒蛋各半分(其实只有番茄炒蛋吃光光鸟...偷吃了旁边某只的一片鸡肉...)
晚餐: 苹果一个,卤鸡蛋一个(辛苦的姑姑自千里之外带来的,况且是我自己点的,当然要赏光鸟...)
p.s.
今天买了一本耶稣裹尸布之谜,是给小三的生日礼物...其实我也想看...
哼哼,送她之后再借回来看好了...
啊!不行了
爬床鸟.... 4/6/2006 小菊减肥日记 第九篇5555555555.....
今天破戒了...5555...
都怪某两人下午食欲正旺的时候讨论好吃滴,香喷喷滴咖喱牛肉炒饭...
害的意志力坚强的菊花也以身试法...讨厌的某两人...
不过值得庆幸滴是,我是和某两人一起去吃饭滴.
饭才上桌,就被我分了2/3出去..
这也是不幸中的万幸了吧!
虽然吃了咖喱炒饭,也不是什么大事情...
何况今天晚上我已经多做运动作回来啦
同时为了警戒自己,又出去穿了一个耳洞来惩罚自己...
阿米托佛...
善哉..善哉...
今日食谱:
早餐: 青菜瘦肉粥一杯,鸡蛋一个
午餐: 白菜,青菜,白罗卜排骨各半分
晚餐: 苹果一个,咖喱牛肉炒饭1/3分...(罪过呀!)
今天犯了戒,明天开始警醒自己...
虽然有某两只要来看我,但是绝对不能再犯错了
想想下个星期六要去穿脐环...
不能再犯戒鸟...
小菊要加油哟...
以上 |
|||||
|
|
